S. DARKO

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The events of S. Darko take place seven years after Donnie was killed by an airplane engine. Donnie’s little sister, Samantha (“Big Love’s” Daveigh Chase) is a teenager now, who has drifted away from her family and decided to travel to California with her friend, Corey (Brianna Evigan, Step Up 2) to pursue a career in actressin’ (they might should’ve sought lessons before appearing in this film). Their car breaks down on the way, stranding them in a small Utah town with a series of wackjob locals, each with a paper-thin personality. Their lives become intertwined when a meteor falls and nearly kills a batshit conspiracy theorist, Iraq Jack (James Lafferty) triggering the Darko framing device: There are 17 days until the end of the world (and by “end of the world,” I mean: One person dies).
What happens between the time the meteor falls and the expiration of those 17 days, I can’t really say. Not because I’m afraid to spoiler it (you should be so lucky), but because I really can’t say. There’s a missing kid, who shows up in Samantha’s dreams. Samantha turns evil at night in her own hallucinations. That weird time funnel travels around aimlessly. Elizabeth Berkley plays a Jesus freak, who has only the most tenuous connection with the nonsensical events that unfold. Samantha at one point is killed in a car accident, but then Corey travels back in time and allows herself to die in Samantha’s place. A geeky kid gets a rash from the meteor and goes mad. The town bad boy stands around and looks bad. John Hawkes (“Deadwood”) plays a motel owner who … owns a motel. Mathew Davis plays a pastor who at one point touches Samantha’s knee in an unpleasant kind of way while trying to convert her to Jesus freakdom. And Iraq Jack builds that Darko bunny head out of parts of a windmill that were destroyed by the meteor, and he wears it sometimes for no reason at all.

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